Life deals you all kinds of cards. Forrest’s mom was right: “you never know what you’re going to get.”
Like right now, I’m kind of homeless- well, not actually “homeless” homeless, but the living definition of a chic hobo. I’m a flight attendant as many of you already know, and I live in a “crash pad”- a commuter house, except that I don’t commute. I wander. After my day job is done, instead of getting into my car, I get on a plane and go- somewhere, anywhere.
it’s not glamourous to live out of a suitcase, or display my airplane “drool face” to more people than I care to share, but it’s my life- and although it sometimes gets lonely/sad (it’s life, it’s not Disneyland) I feel free. I’m not living on other people’s dime, I get to travel, I get to see the people I love, and when I look up to see what to do next, I see a blank canvas: just a horizon of white with a crayon box in my hand.
I never put two and two together until I had this job. Truth be told, I told my mom “No” when she first recommended this job to me. But my mom is sort of psychic like that in the most scary way- “mother knows best” as she likes to put it . Like I was saying, though I never put two and two together, I realize now that I’ve always been this person: on the inside, I’m a free spirit, a bohemian, a pirate, a wandering gypsy on this endless adventure. I realize now- looking back on when I was younger I was never looking for a place- I was looking for an experience, a story, a friend. The thought of staying in one place never stuck for too long because I was always too busy daydreaming about the next adventure.
Some people like to dye their hair when they get bored. I tried that and it stripped my hair, so I daydream instead about being somewhere- anywhere in this great big world. I like the feeling of being small (not to be mistaken with feeling small). Being a mere spec of dust in this vast universe- it makes my problems seem microscopic. I like to fantasize about being romanced in France, seeing what George Harrison saw in India, having dinner at 1am in Barcelona just to say I did it, and breathing in the air and basking in the sun of somewhere NEW. So it was not until now that this gypsy found her way to actually dream. Now that I know I can do all these things given a little courage and a leap of faith- I feel liberated. For the first time in my life, I don’t have to figure it out: where am I going? what am I doing? what is my life?
Where am I going? I don’t really know- “I’ll find out when I get there”
What am I doing? Seeing, experiencing, wandering, living
What is my life? It is my own.
Passport, watch, wallet, cellphone camera, journal, and a half a sandwich- are really all the essentials that I need to pick up and just go. This is me- I’ve always been a wandering gypsy pirate. Nothing is stopping me, and nobody is changing who I am.
"Not How? or When? or Why?, but YES" I’m merely wandering- I am not lost. (Thanks Tolkien)